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Mar. 4th, 2006 10:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
catspawThis all started with a challenge by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
riverfox - 'What the hell happened to the mistletoe?"
And it was obviously *never* going to grow up into a fic. But it amused me no end while I was watching it inside my head, so you guys get to suffer as well ;-) Unbetaed, so caveat lector - and if you spot the mistakes, feel free to make hay :-)
"What the hell happened to the mistletoe?"
"Um." Daniel's brow creased into the familiar 'v' shape that denoted assimilation, concentration and deduction, deepening sharply with displeasure as he was forced to admit, "I'm not really sure, actually."
Jack pushed his cap to the back of his head and surveyed the mess that three quarters of his team had become. Daniel was stolidly cleaning his glasses but other than that didn't really seem to be bothered about the white ropes of goop that now decorated his vest and his face. Carter had that far away look in her eyes that indicated she was hot on the trail of a theory, the spatter in her hair and elsewhere notwithstanding, but that it was possibly an outlandish one. Teal'c appeared stone faced, as usual. Even goop couldn't disturb his dignity: the man was capable of rising above pretty much anything. Although very close observation revealed the fact that his mouth was turned down in slightly more than its usual expression of distaste as he plucked a gummy strand of goop from his staff weapon. With deliberate care, he rolled it into a small, rubbery ball between one finger and thumb and dropped it to the forest floor.
Jack resettled his cap and clicked his tongue with impatience at Daniel's not very enlightening response. "Carter, Teal'c, any ideas?"
Sam came back to earth with a bump. "Not really, sir. It was just hanging there," she indicated the low branch overhanging their temporary camp which until recently had held a very large ball of plant matter, "and then for no reason I could see, it exploded."
"Exploded?"
"Exploded. Kaboom," Daniel elaborated, moving his hands in an expanding circle. "We suffered some uh, collateral damage."
"Large explosion?"
"Not really. Just a little messy. And unexpected."
"So you've no idea why?"
"None, O'Neill. It is as Major Carter and Daniel Jackson have said. We did not disturb it in any way."
"Should we be disturbed? Mistletoe's poisonous, isn't it?"
Daniel shook his head. "Well yes it is, strictly speaking - but you'd have to ingest large quantities for it to have any effect, as an adult, unless you were allergic to it. I'm assuming it's the same here. And none of us have swallowed any of it." He looked to Sam and Teal'c for confirmation and they both shook their heads.
"I don't think it's anything to be worried about, Sir. Neither Daniel nor Teal'c seem to be feeling any ill effects at all," more shaking and nodding of heads as the two men agreed with Sam's diagnosis, "and I know I'm not. As for the exploding thing - well, best guess I can come up with is that it's a method of seed dispersal."
"That could work," Daniel agreed. "There don't seem to be any birds here, and they're the most usual method of seed dispersal for Earth mistletoe."
"And lots of Earth flora use exploding seed capsules to disperse," Sam added. "There are reasonable models to back up the theory."
Daniel suddenly snickered as he looked at Teal'c. "Seed dispersal. Oh man. Seed dispersal."
Jack stared at him and the penny dropped. The long strands of semi-translucent white goop did look remarkably like -- he started to smirk, then chuckle as well. Until he caught sight of Carter's face, whereupon he cleared his throat and swallowed his laughter. "Yeah, well. If there's nothing we need to immediately panic about in your collective opinions, I suggest you go get cleaned up."
"Sir? We should take back a specimen for Janet to take a look at. Just to be sure there's nothing to worry about."
"Agreed. But Carter? Make sure you get a sample that's not quite as ripe. It'd be good to get home not looking like," again Jack caught sight of Carter's flushed face and pursed mouth and rapidly jettisoned what he'd been going to say. "Never mind. Just be selective."
"I'll stick it in a flask, sir, just to be on the safe side."
"Containment. Good thinking, Carter. I approve of containment. Now hustle, kids, we're due back at the gate in two hours. I'll start tidying things up here."
While his team trooped off to the nearby stream with a flask and a bar of all-purpose soap and he smothered the remains of the fire, Jack worked very hard to push all the spooge jokes he'd ever heard to the back of his mind before they returned.
Succeeded too - years of self discipline in the field sure paid off sometimes. Although the thought of Daniel festooned with lines of what looked uncannily like jizz - his jizz. Him coming over Daniel's face, his chest, his balls. Watching Daniel moaning and writhing underneath him, seeing him shoot his load over being striped with his come --
Hell yeah. That could work --
Dick one, self discipline nil. Ah well, couldn't win 'em all. Spooge jokes though? Those he could resist. Well maybe until he got Daniel home at least.
*
Don't say I didn't warn you *g*
riverfox - 'What the hell happened to the mistletoe?"And it was obviously *never* going to grow up into a fic. But it amused me no end while I was watching it inside my head, so you guys get to suffer as well ;-) Unbetaed, so caveat lector - and if you spot the mistakes, feel free to make hay :-)
"What the hell happened to the mistletoe?"
"Um." Daniel's brow creased into the familiar 'v' shape that denoted assimilation, concentration and deduction, deepening sharply with displeasure as he was forced to admit, "I'm not really sure, actually."
Jack pushed his cap to the back of his head and surveyed the mess that three quarters of his team had become. Daniel was stolidly cleaning his glasses but other than that didn't really seem to be bothered about the white ropes of goop that now decorated his vest and his face. Carter had that far away look in her eyes that indicated she was hot on the trail of a theory, the spatter in her hair and elsewhere notwithstanding, but that it was possibly an outlandish one. Teal'c appeared stone faced, as usual. Even goop couldn't disturb his dignity: the man was capable of rising above pretty much anything. Although very close observation revealed the fact that his mouth was turned down in slightly more than its usual expression of distaste as he plucked a gummy strand of goop from his staff weapon. With deliberate care, he rolled it into a small, rubbery ball between one finger and thumb and dropped it to the forest floor.
Jack resettled his cap and clicked his tongue with impatience at Daniel's not very enlightening response. "Carter, Teal'c, any ideas?"
Sam came back to earth with a bump. "Not really, sir. It was just hanging there," she indicated the low branch overhanging their temporary camp which until recently had held a very large ball of plant matter, "and then for no reason I could see, it exploded."
"Exploded?"
"Exploded. Kaboom," Daniel elaborated, moving his hands in an expanding circle. "We suffered some uh, collateral damage."
"Large explosion?"
"Not really. Just a little messy. And unexpected."
"So you've no idea why?"
"None, O'Neill. It is as Major Carter and Daniel Jackson have said. We did not disturb it in any way."
"Should we be disturbed? Mistletoe's poisonous, isn't it?"
Daniel shook his head. "Well yes it is, strictly speaking - but you'd have to ingest large quantities for it to have any effect, as an adult, unless you were allergic to it. I'm assuming it's the same here. And none of us have swallowed any of it." He looked to Sam and Teal'c for confirmation and they both shook their heads.
"I don't think it's anything to be worried about, Sir. Neither Daniel nor Teal'c seem to be feeling any ill effects at all," more shaking and nodding of heads as the two men agreed with Sam's diagnosis, "and I know I'm not. As for the exploding thing - well, best guess I can come up with is that it's a method of seed dispersal."
"That could work," Daniel agreed. "There don't seem to be any birds here, and they're the most usual method of seed dispersal for Earth mistletoe."
"And lots of Earth flora use exploding seed capsules to disperse," Sam added. "There are reasonable models to back up the theory."
Daniel suddenly snickered as he looked at Teal'c. "Seed dispersal. Oh man. Seed dispersal."
Jack stared at him and the penny dropped. The long strands of semi-translucent white goop did look remarkably like -- he started to smirk, then chuckle as well. Until he caught sight of Carter's face, whereupon he cleared his throat and swallowed his laughter. "Yeah, well. If there's nothing we need to immediately panic about in your collective opinions, I suggest you go get cleaned up."
"Sir? We should take back a specimen for Janet to take a look at. Just to be sure there's nothing to worry about."
"Agreed. But Carter? Make sure you get a sample that's not quite as ripe. It'd be good to get home not looking like," again Jack caught sight of Carter's flushed face and pursed mouth and rapidly jettisoned what he'd been going to say. "Never mind. Just be selective."
"I'll stick it in a flask, sir, just to be on the safe side."
"Containment. Good thinking, Carter. I approve of containment. Now hustle, kids, we're due back at the gate in two hours. I'll start tidying things up here."
While his team trooped off to the nearby stream with a flask and a bar of all-purpose soap and he smothered the remains of the fire, Jack worked very hard to push all the spooge jokes he'd ever heard to the back of his mind before they returned.
Succeeded too - years of self discipline in the field sure paid off sometimes. Although the thought of Daniel festooned with lines of what looked uncannily like jizz - his jizz. Him coming over Daniel's face, his chest, his balls. Watching Daniel moaning and writhing underneath him, seeing him shoot his load over being striped with his come --
Hell yeah. That could work --
Dick one, self discipline nil. Ah well, couldn't win 'em all. Spooge jokes though? Those he could resist. Well maybe until he got Daniel home at least.
*
Don't say I didn't warn you *g*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-03-04 11:10 pm (UTC)spooge? this is a new word for me...I think I like it *-DD
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 08:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-04 11:45 pm (UTC)Baaad Cats :-).
xxx
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 08:50 am (UTC)Thanks :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 12:32 am (UTC)Spooge, wtf! Not heard that word for an age. LMAO!
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 08:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 01:46 am (UTC)"Not really. Just a little messy. And unexpected."
God, I *hate* it when that happens! *gg*
Thank you sweetie! I needed the laugh. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 08:58 am (UTC)And yay! You had enough energy to laugh :-) That makes me very happy :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 08:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 09:00 am (UTC)LMAO at your icon - that's very clever :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 03:26 pm (UTC)LMAO at your icon - that's very clever
Thanks :-) Now if I could just figure out how to make the images clearer, but you know me and computers.
no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 06:53 am (UTC)*g* no worries hon - I took it in the spirit in which it was meant ;-) All *I* meant was - these brainfarty things I suffer from often involve slapstick *g*
I have no idea how to make the icon images clearer though :-( There might be an online tutorial somewhere?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 07:58 am (UTC)Nice surprise!
{{{{Cats}}}}
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Date: 2006-03-05 09:03 am (UTC)Thanks, hon :-)
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 08:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 09:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 01:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 07:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 07:15 pm (UTC)Because his sense of self-preservation is actually very good! *g*
Spoooooooooooooge!
Hee! Ne word. Who says slash isn't educational?
no subject
Date: 2006-03-05 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 06:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-06 08:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 06:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 08:05 am (UTC)Okay, sorry, that's TMI, isn't it? *hangs head*
*g*
no subject
Date: 2006-03-07 11:20 pm (UTC)And it's lovely and funny, and off-world and we have TEAM! and there's mistletoe and double-entendre, and some really nice Jack fantasies... What more could a girl want? :)
You just made my day. :)))
no subject
Date: 2006-03-08 05:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-17 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-03-19 02:07 pm (UTC)That icon of yours is making me laugh too - I love Bra'tac!